P i e c e . O f . P a r a d i s e

=)

2006-12-10T15:13:00.000-06:00

true love at its b e s t.

- it's gonna be a merry christmas this year.

still miss you, Apo.

A beautiful mind

2006-03-04T22:13:00.000-06:00

Certain people who have accomplished so much in their lives yet ask for nothing in return. Certain people who find happiness and laugher in the smallest matters and amounts. Certain people who genuinely deserve the most in the world, yet continue to give and learn from others. Certain people who go through each day of their lives in constant pain, yet love just as much. Certain people who live so simply and humbly.

. . . this is what touches me

! ! ! HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY DAN ! ! !

2006-02-25T09:00:00.000-06:00

Hey Dan,
I KNOW you can had an amazing time last night! muhahaah. Glad to see that you had the chance to catch up with all your friends! It was sooooo great to finally meet most of them =D! Don't forget about all those shrimp chips ;) (or as Charity would say "is that styrofoam?") HAHAH That was awesome!

P E R F E C T weekend!

2006-02-12T20:08:00.000-06:00

I can't even describe how happy I was this entire weekend! The minute Dan arrived was the beginning of all my smiles =D

After waiting 1 hour at the bus station for his arrival at 8pm (it was well worth it) I saw his dorky little head bob up and down among the crowd! hahahahah. As soon as I spotted him, I ran and gave him a big fat bear hug! After reuniting, we looked for a taxi to get back to my place. I showed him around my apartment and we just had spaghetti that I made for dinner. He surprised me with the cutest teddy bear for Valentine's Day. You have to push his foot and he hugs this heart he is holding and it says "hug me! squeeeeeze me! love me!" LOL.

We got up so early on Saturday morning to check out the Winterlude! 8:30am on a Sat, it was worth it! We first decided to go to Mcdees for breakfast, only to find that it was closed. So we took a bus down to Rideau Center and had breakfast there.

After that, it was the best site seeing I've ever done! Dan, you know too much stuff! hahha. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have known that I'd be passing such ancient/important buildings! We took lots of pics, especially by Parliament, the National Art Gallery, the center where they celebrate Rememberance Day and so much more! Finally, we started Winterlude. Some of the ice sculptures were soooo wicked. So detailed man. Dan got some really good action pics with his high-techy camera. Not to mention that this whole day it was freezing cold. If you didn't have a hat (or ~COOL~ 180s! haha), scarf, gloves you'd freeze. Dumb me, I wore like those 99cent gloves, which did not warm me at all! We also went shopping for a bit; finally bought the shirt I've been waiting for on sale. "whoa, it's only 12 o'clock" hahaha "yeah, see it's good to wake up early man! you get so much done in your day!"

So, it was my plan all along to go skating on the Canal. How could you not, when you're in Ottawa? So we lined up for skate rentals, only to find that they didn't have my size!!!! ARGGGGGGGGG screw youuuuuuu!! So irritated. So we decided to take a bus to Quebec to check out the other side of Winterlude at Jacque Cartier Parc. lol! I must admit, the only reason why we went there was because I wanted to go on the Teletoon slides! hahahahaa. SNOW SLIDES! how cool is that!

Eventually, it was getting around to dinner time. We walked for hours just to find a nice place to have dinner. Either all the places were way too expensive, or they just weren't "dinner" material, or 1.5 hr wait. So, the smart one between the two of us (of course, that is MOI) decided to go back home and order swiss chalet! LOL. mMmMmMMmmm.

"How did we lose Jeff?" "I know!!! How could you?!?! After all he has done!!" LOL

So the night came to an end, we ate, talked, cleaned and went to bed.

I did not want Sunday to come =( Dan's bus was at 4:30pm, so he helped me grocery shop in the morning (thx again for the extra hand!). Dan didn't want to miss his bus, sooooo we left my place at 2:15pm!!!!! hahahahahah. geez.
Saying bye to him after this weekend was hard.

I definately had such an amazing time with him.

Songs that I currently can't stop listening to . . .

2006-02-04T15:56:00.000-06:00

Backstreet Boys - Never gone
Five for Fighing - 100 years
Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Road
Atlantic Starr - Always
Peabo Bryson - If Ever You're in my Arms Again
United Live - All
Il Divo - Unbreak my Heart

sickness sucks

2006-02-02T15:14:00.000-06:00

I hate being sick! ahhhh. My nose has been all red today. My co-workers probably think something is wrong with me, my nose/upper lip is ALWAYS red! Whether cause its my winter rash, or I stabbed myself in the face with a pen or now I actually have a stuffy nose. When can I ever prove my clear face??!

Anyway, call me crazy but I have a craving for. . . . . dun dun dun. . . . SHAKE 'N BAKE! HAHAHA. MmMm. odd eh?I'm such a fatso. It's ok. I replaced shake 'n bake with a sandwich, instead.

So who actually watches American Idol? Cause that show (well the auditions part) is HILARIOUS! HAHAH I seriously don't know what people are thinking when they go audition. Holy crap. To be honest, it's EXTREMELY entertaining to watch them though, even if they can't sing.

Currently on my mind

2006-01-29T13:52:00.000-06:00

1. Work reports SUCK! I just started to read the guidelines. I hate the fact that we have to write this.
2. I am so bored.
3. I can't wait till Feb 10th. MUhahahah = Dan + winterlude (I wanna try a beaver tail. haha)
4. I just spent an hour helping out a friend do searches for literature reviews. (glad to know my research skills are helping other people) ahaha
5. These songs are taking FOREVER to download
6. I can't wait to get paid
7. United Live is a wicked band.
8. Kernals is sooo good (I know I'm gonna get fat) - whaaaaaalin white cheeese. hahaha
9. It's gonna be so hard to study in the Spring term :S
10. I LOVE all my friends and family! =D

CLASSIC SOUL ALBUMS are out ! ! !

2006-01-28T17:39:00.000-06:00

haha, I just killed another hour watching One Tree Hill in FRENCH!!! It's such a turn on that they can speak FRENCH! kidding, I know it's dubbed. haha.

Anyway, I have a bargain to make with anybody who reads this. I've been wanting this for a very long time, I've tried to put it all together myself, but never got the time to.

So finally, on a Saturday evening, I was watching something like the Shopping Channel, and there it was: (click on the link below to find out)

http://www.timelife.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=167&

YES! I've been wanting those CLASSIC SOUL BALLADS cds for a very long time. Now that they are out, I can't afford them. Well not that I can't, I just don't want to spend $120bucks. Don't the covers look so tempting? lol It's just a trick to lure you in to buy them even more!

Anyway, any one of you who has a DLing program and is willing to put the time and effort in to put all 144 songs onto a cd for me, I will pay you. Yes that's right. Actual cash. hahahaha. That is how much I want these songs. A part of me is much too lazy to do it myself (plus I don't have a DLing program and I don't wanna corrupt my comp again). The price is negotiable, so talk to me or leave a msg if yes. MUHAHAHAHA. I'm such a loser . . .

James Blunt - "You're Beautiful" - - - this song is stuck in my head

2006-01-13T19:35:00.000-06:00

some people can be soo friggen ANNOYING and IMMATURE!!! GROW UP! I thought one was enough in my life, now I got two! RELATIONSHIPS/BOYS ARE NOT THE ONLY PROBLEMS IN THIS WORLD!

I'm sorry if I'm being so vague and ambiguous, but I know some people don't give a crap what I write here, for those of you who do, I'll talk to you personally.

It's sad how I have to ignore some of my "friends" to avoid these situations. But GOSH I can't stand it.

Till then, I need to be more patient.

Helping the poor little fish. . lol

2006-01-12T15:34:00.000-06:00

I was walking home today from work, and eventhough it was all gloomy and rainy, I was listening to my ipod and SMILING! haha. Maybe it's because today is the only day, that I'm coming back from work, not worrying about anything.

I feel so fortunate to be working with such high-profile professionals. And not just that, these people actually WANT to HELP me in my career, which I think is so WICKED of them =D
Meeting with two practicing gynaecologists (HAHA EV!) today, we were talking about the expectations on the upcoming Oral Contraceptives Report, and they were asking me about my interests and what I would like to write about, and if I do a good job, it will get published in the next HC edition. Usually I would think, they just give me a random topic to discuss. But they were asking me, what field I was considering going into and write about something relevant to that, and I can use my published article to help me in the future, blah blah blah! Geez, thx!

Aside from that, tomorrow is FRIDAY! I'll be coming back to Toronto in a week. Before that, gonna go shopping on the weekend and do some stinky laundry.

I miss YOU!

untitled

2006-01-10T15:34:00.000-06:00

Always be prepared! hahaah. Only because I was forced to go to two Division meetings today!! Holy crap. I was soo friggen nervous. haahah. I got to work today at 8am, as usual, ( I really don't know why I go in so early, when I have the option to arrive anytime between 8 - 9am). So there I am going about my day, when Dr. BUTTar (HAHA dan!) walks in,
- "Oh Jennifer, did you get the email about the Division and Bureau meetings today?"
WTHHH. NO!
- "I think it would be a good idea if you joined us, and you can meet the new project managers"
okkkkkaaaay.

So down I went at 11:00am. The first meeting wasn't so bad. There were only like 15-20 people, and I didn't say much. hahaah.

The Bureau meeting at 1pm, was soo incrediably intimidating. It was this whole board room full of professionals. I felt like such an amateur. Dr. Rotter (who is the most serious woman you'll ever meet! She's one of those old lady's who dresses really old-fashioned but with style, I don't really know how THAT works, but she can pull it off - but yeah, of all people, I think I'd be scared of her the most! hahaha. Just because she seems so..........ACCOMPLISHED with her life and INTELLIGENT!) .

Anyway, she began the meeting by saying "oh Happy New Year to everybody, and I wanted to take this time and introduce some new additions to our team" So there I was, sitting and waiting to see if I would be important enough to be introduced to these people. I GUESS NOT!!!! HAAHAHAHAH. She introduced the new execs, prj mgrs, and a few more doctors. But NOT LIL OL ME! =( But wait wait wait....HAHAAH....half way into the meeting she's like "oh my apologies, I forgot to introduce our new student, Jennifer Ku, who is in 2nd year and is from waterloo, she will be with us for 4months" DID I LOOK LIKE A TOMATO OR WHAT! lol. I felt like the tiniest, puniest, little fish you could possibly find in an ocean. I'm important enough to mention later on, but not during the "official full-fledge introductions". I guess she saw me, after I was starring her down for the past 1.5 hours, while she kept talking.

But yeah. Overall, everybody's been so nice and welcoming to me so far =D It would be nice to finally get my official job letter :\

Ottawa so far. . .

2006-01-05T15:41:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to everybody, I hope you all had a great time and enjoyed the beginning of 2006!

Well, lil Jen is in Ottawa. I finished my 3rd day of work and I'm on my 5th day in Ottawa. It was really tough at first, to be honest, but I think things are getting better now. It's sad because I barely get to see any sunshine =( I probably get like 30mins of sun everyday. haha. But then again it's winter, so the sun doesn't really shine. Aside from that. I'm a LONER!!! I wake up alone, I pee alone (well that's a given), I work alone, I walk to and from work alone, I come back home alone, I eat alone - it's all so very sad.

At work, I've met sooo many amazing people. Doctors, specialists, scientists, professors and so forth. I'm fortunate enough to be working with a few of them with my two upcoming projects. My work finally started to pick up today. I have to analyze the new Drug Submission for Paxene and on Monday, my first project on Oral Contraceptives will begin. I'm kind of scared and nervous for my first Bureau meeting. Too many intimidating professionals.

I keep talking to my sister and she's always reminding me of why I am here. It's a good experience and you should really develop a network with those doctors and specialists. Don't isolate yourself. It's so different when I talk to my dad, just think of all the money you're making! hahaha. That's funny, because I still don't know how much I'm getting paid, till today. Patience is a virtue. It's ok.

Anyway today was cool, one of the British Urologists invited me to have coffee with him and a few other collegues. I felt so out of place! Sitting at a table with a paediatrician, obstetrician, pharmacist, reviewer, gynacologist and cardiac surgeon - wth am I suppose to say!!! It was good though, we just talked about our undergrads. I guess for them to see me, reminds them of when they were young, or how old they are!!!! muhaha.

It's also amazing how much I learn each day at work. The amount of literature reviews I have to research and read; I think I've already learned more than I did in a month's worth of school. I'm also thinking that, when I come back from Ottawa, I'm gonna be FAT!!! Not that I'm not, but sitting on my ass all day, starring at the computer screen can add to this chub-a-lub.

I can't wait to come home. I miss EVERYBODY!!! It would be nice to see some familiar faces =( or at least have some company.

2005-12-25T11:55:00.000-06:00

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S EVERYONE!!!

f r e e d o m

2005-12-22T09:32:00.000-06:00

Thank You for another great term! =)

Your hand I'll always need

2005-12-20T12:27:00.000-06:00

I thought You were real. I know You believe in me. I pray to You almost every night, knowing that You are listening. I know You've always guided me with Your strength and courage. But last night was different. I felt out of sorts. Disconnected. Maybe it was me. I lost my way from you. Or maybe You took your faith in me, and believed that I could do it on my own. But I can't and I need you. And I always will. . .

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word Spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for You
And I, I'm lost without You

Ottawa Trip

2005-11-27T20:01:00.000-06:00

It all started when my alarm went off at 5:45am. Crapperoonies. The last time I had to wake up that early was during the summer for the hospital.

Anyway, my family and I didn't end up leaving the house till 7am, because my sister and brother-in-law were late. So there it was, the dreaded 5 hour car ride. It didn't turn out to be so bad though. We made it there in like 3.5 hours, if you minus the 30 mins stop we made at Tim Hortons. hehe.

But once we got there it was pretty cool. We checked out a couple of places, but it came down to two. One on Bayswater and on the other on Holland (which was closer to my work).

At Bayswater, I'd be living with this newlywed couple, and I must say, their house is very nicely decorated! GEEZ LOUISE!!! My prospective room was soo cool! I couldn't imagine it nicer. haha. Plus the couple seemed genuinely nice and sincere. Everything was provided and the walk to work was only like 20 - 25 mins.

Other than that, the second option was kinda like a dorm style living. Kinda like V1. Yeah, I'd be living with 3 other students, who are from UWaterloo too. Sorry, 3 males!!! hahaah. Yes, I'd be the only girl on the floor! hahah.

Both the places had its pros and cons, and very different ones too. It came down to decisions based on transportation, laundry facilities (haha), safety, being able to cook freely (because the couple at Bayswater doesn't allow any meat cooking, because the wife hadn't eaten meat for 35 years and can't smell it, otherwise she'll go insane) and just being comfortable where I was living. The second place allowed me to have more freedom and I wouldn't be restricted to the couples' "rules". In the end, we chose to sign with the apartment/dorm style on Holland (plus it's only a 5-10 mins walk to work).

The landlord told me that since I'd be living with 3 other boys, she'd give me the key to her office room and let her use her bathroom! muhahaha. excellent. OH YEAH! I forgot the most important thing! The one major deciding factor that kept going through my head was the visitation rules!!!! hahahaha. OBVIOUSLY I'd HAVE to be allowed to have visitors...duh!!! But the house on Bayswater wouldn't let me. "No, sorry we don't allow any friends, boyfriends, girlfriends. . . just family. . . for a few days." BOOOO. hahahahah. So that was a big plus on Holland!!! hahahaah.

Anyway, the ride home was such a pain!!! Besides our asses from being completely NUMB!!! I think my brother-in-law and I were going crazy because we kept making noises to the tune of X-Files when my sister was sleeping!!! HAHAHA. We tried scaring her, but it didn't work. She just called us idiots.

Well it's back to UW now, then come Jan 1st, it's off to Ottawa. I'm scared. So scared. But everything will be alright. I know.

The first snowfall

2005-11-17T19:27:00.000-06:00

yay! As cold as it may be, I LOVE snow! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! hahah I'm just kidding. We still got like a month before that. But still, it's never too early to be listening to Christmas music! muhahaha.

Other than that, when it comes to relationship issues, modesty is key. Lately, I've been so annoyed with certain things/people, that I find myself ignoring phone calls, msgs or whatever. It's really sad. But to be honest, I can only take so much, and I can only say so much. Being modest or humble is what I've always valued in another person, and when there isn't enough, it's disappointing. God gave me patience, and I guess this is only testing that. We're all different, yet all so similar.

Maybe it's an asian thing. haha. maybe. . .

Sappy? I know. But how could I resist? This is so sweet!

2005-11-08T18:14:00.000-06:00

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

I GOT A JOB!!!

2005-10-31T19:32:00.000-06:00

Health Canada here I come!!! I can't believe I already got a job! And it's everything I wanna do and love. I thought it would be so hard, considering the fact that it is my first work term, but it didn't turn out so bad. I guess I'm just very, very lucky and blessed =D

Excited? Yes.
Scared? Definately.

Soo, who wants to visit me? ;)

P.S. Happy Halloween!!!

Midterm on a SATURDAY?!?!

2005-10-19T23:40:00.000-05:00

I KNOW!!! that's insanity!!! and guess which course = PHYSICS!!! i just spent the past hour and half on ONE friggen question! ONE! and it was the easiest one! RELATIVE VELOCITY! AIYA!!! how did i get so bad at physics?! =( A number of key things to remember when you wanna be successful in physics:
1. KNOW the equations - my prof keeps telling me this, but i assume that as i do the assignment problems ill get to know them. meh. now they're posted all over my room! hahah
2. DO your HOMEWORK - eaiser said than done. I TRY! but physics is not the only class im taking.
3. REVIEW - pssh who has time to review when all that's on their mind is CATCHING UP! geez.
4. GO TO CLASS - i do. but half the time the prof goes so damn fast i dont know whats going on and i just end up copying and not "following along"
5. DO THE PRACTICE MIDTERMS FROM PREVIOUS YEARS - I AM!!! and I just wasted 1.5 hrs of my life!!!
6. lastly.....GET OFF BLOGGER and stop wasting time...AIYA!!!!

someone save me now. i gotta prep for my interview tomorrow.

not enough time!!!

2005-10-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

where has the time gone! geez! i still remembered that i had a blog though. hehe. i wonder if anyone still comes onto this and reads my CRAP! haha

well im in the middle of midterms now AND interviews! (who's dumb idea was it to put midterms and interviews at the same time?!) i swear they just want to see us die of stress. ahhh
anyway, i got another interview today for Health Canada! in OTTAWA!! what!! imagine if i worked for them? that would be soooo groovy! haha. im such a nerd. i got 5 interviews in total now, the one i really want is on Mon. geez. my interview today was sooo AHHHHH. i thought i was gonna past out from being so damn nervous. ANXIETY ATTACKS!!! i could feel my entire face turning red. i also felt kinda self-conscious, since my suit was kinda revealing! hahaah. they could probably see down my shirt! hahaahah. OOoooo gotta show some cleavage to get that job! hahaah. IM TOTALLY KIDDING!! but then again, it didn't help that i had two ladies as my interviwers! hehe.

well, i can't wait till this week is over, so i can go home and celebrate halloween! me and my housemates last night were going delusional and started to listen to christmas music. hahah. and who's idea = MINE! i know i know.
well i think i've blabbed on enough, if anyone reads this plz leave a comment, cause i am actually quite interested to see who still visits this blog.
miss you all!!!

Happy 19th Ev ! ! !

2005-09-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna miss ya sooo much when I leave (especially since now I don't have a long distance plan. . . c'mon the only reason why I had London Telecom last year was to talk to you!! lol )
But, nothing's ever gonna change between us. You've been my best friend/sister for how long now!? we're going strong at about 13 years! This is the longest relationship I've ever been in!! hahaah. We gotta rock out to "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!" just like on my birthday. So before I leave, I hope all your dreams and wishes come true (hopefully I'll bump into Sasuke) and that your birthday is a special one! SUPERBOWLS4LYFE!!! LOL < - - - 'the pornography made me do it!'

- Because you loved me -

2005-08-28T13:41:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to say this for a long time, and I guess I finally found time out of my day to write down what's been on my mind. I originally wanted to write this long speech and dedication to each and every person, but I guess whoever cares enough to read all the lyrics below will understand (truly) what I'm trying to say. To all of you who are or have been part of my life - your care and compassion has helped me to appreciate life as a whole.
I am forever grateful for all of you.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

=D

2005-08-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

I have no idea why I'm in such a GREAT mood. I swear it's the new Backstreet Boy's song! HAHA. (8) I just want you to know!! (8) [It's scary how I know the codes to msn emoticons...for those of you who use msn often enough know what those symbols are - haha]
Plus I got work in a few hours and I have to work with this girl who doesn't like me and who I'm not personally fond of. =P
Oh WELLS! I was singing in the shower and I think a whole bunch of soapy water went into my mouth. I'm such a retard. Including my eyes! AHH. MY EYES!!
Now I'm just sitting here evaporating (that may sound strange to some of you, but if you know me, you know what I mean)
9 more till the big day!!!
I got the day off tomorrow - yesssss!

Anybody wanna join me?!

2005-08-14T23:22:00.000-05:00

I feel like dressing up and going out to a really fancy dinner - outside - by the lake.
And dancing underneath the stars - where it's not too cool or too hot.
Dancing to some relaxing jazz music - maybe Kenny G.
Then taking a stroll on the dock.
And sit down by the edge - where our feet can dangle in the water - so that just our toes can touch.
Just talking and talking.
Breathing in the summer air.
Not knowing how fast time goes.
Or how late it gets.

(none)

2005-08-12T20:50:00.000-05:00

Feels good to play the guitar again :\

SMILE!

2005-08-01T18:54:00.000-05:00

I absolutely LOVE long weekends. hehe. Yes, that's sad. They are the highlight of my life. hehe. jokes. But they always seem to be so jam packed with STUFF to do.

It all began when they let me out of the hospital early on Friday (what what!! I'm so lucky to work with such an awesome crew) So, as usual, I went home to take my long deserved nap, cause I knew that I needed energy that night to see Dan (and by no means do I mean that in a sexual context) ewwwww. We went to good ol fatty Mcadees cause I felt like getting a Happy Meal (their toys are always exciting...you just never know what they have in store for you =D and they have Neopets this month!) We decided to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ( I don't know why...it was Dan's suggestion...I think he had other plans or motives up his sleeve....who knows) "Daddy, I want a squirrel. But Daddy, I want one" hahaha. Spoiled brats are always fun to watch and certainly fat lil boys who eat everything in their sight! hahaah. That night ended and I had a splendid time. MUHAHAHAHAHAH (ok I don't know where that sudden burst of evil laughter came from...hehe...scary part is..that I'm actually sitting here laughing to myself : )

Soooo, if I recall correctly, me and Dan had plans to make our way to Wonderland on Saturday = yes we did AND somebody wanted to be a daredevil and drag me on all the roller coasters and scary ass rides = WRONG!!! Can we say the word "wOOoOoOoOzy". Apparently, Dan's stomach turned wOOoOoOoOzy after our first ride (Top Gun, which by the way was the only successful ride he got me to go on). Other than that, just getting the chance to spend some time with him was really, really nice. hehe. (more timberwolf?!? c'monnn)

I had to work the next day...but the good part? NO FRANCINE! what what! (I swear I hope my store closes down immediately after my discharge...I know I'm talking crazy because my value as a sales-associate to them is nothing but a load of carcass...but it would still be entertaining to see half the employees UNEMPLOYED! muhaha) That night, I got to chill with Ev and Lourdes and watch Unleashed. hahaha. Why do we always find some sort of comic relief in every movie watch? "I want a piano. I want a piano. I want a piano." "Kiss was RIPE!" hahaha.

So now, I'm sitting here, when I was SUPPOSE to go play tennis with my sister, but as usual the world is out to get me and down came all the RAIN! We'll make plans for another weekend, when she has to take me to Square One. It's still all good, I got to go to Dim Sum today with Dan and his family! Yes, something that I've never done in my chinese life. I'm now officially even more chinkified!!
We all went to Ikea after. Gosh I love that store. It's like 10, 000 different rooms with all these cool lookin' things and gadgets. Really inspires you to re-decorate your room.

Anyhoos, now I got 1 more month left. POOOO! I don't wanna leave Toronto and back to the evil world of S-C-H-O-O-L! AHH. Textbooks - early classes - assignments - labs - readings - midterms - exams - marks!! AIYA!!!

I just realized I haven't been to church in quite awhile :\

*sigh* why do people need to yell and have such a HORRIBLE temper tantrum? It honestly solves nothing. And it just brings everyone down.

I think this entry has been long enough.

Happy Birthday, Keith!!! =)

2005-07-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

You and I ~ Howie Day

2005-07-25T22:05:00.000-05:00

I may not know what this song means exactly, but somehow and some way I'm making more sense of it, especially now. . .

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find

You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Darlington Camp Trip!

2005-07-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

Best part of it all?! Where do I begin? hehe. Being able to chill with Dan and my friends for 3 days was just awesome. Although the campgrounds at Darlington were not what we expected (plus they were really hard to sleep on!), there were some good times. I got to go canoeing! and not only that! I got to race in a canoe AND I almost DIED! haha. I'm kidding about the second part. Getting into a canoe is some freaky business. Other than that, the beach water fight was disgustingly FUN! ANND we can't forget about JEN'S GREAT BBQ GALA!! hahaha. of course that was ruined. "but it was still good. still good!" After a whole day at the beach, we all got sunburned...all except the guys!! which made no sense, since they were the only ones who were HALF-NAKED!! no fair man. no fair at all! Can't wait to develop the pictures!

Thx guys for an awesome weekend =)

Time.

2005-06-29T23:38:00.000-05:00

The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. With it you can...

_ Talk to them and learn their greatest fears
_ Love them so that they can experience the faith of God
_ Laugh with them and discover what makes them smile
_ Show them compassion that they’ve never felt
_ Share your happiness to let them know that there’s hope in this world

Happy Be-lated Bday Simmy!!!

2005-06-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

Hope you had a great one!

"whatever"

2005-06-07T22:23:00.000-05:00

Worst word of all time, why?!

1. It ALWAYS has a negative connotation to it
2. I hate hearing it
3. It solves nothing
4. It's an excuse to say something else that's really on your mind

So, do me a favour, next time you talk to me, I don't wanna hear it.

Life = Ying yang

2005-06-05T23:30:00.000-05:00

Opposites parallel one another, in different directions. Does that make sense? Hopefully. Everything in this life contradicts each other, which makes it so damn complicated for a few to live life, simply. I was taught that all the decisions we make in life was answered with either a "black or white" thinking. What I liked to believe is that, everything has to have a gray side. Well I don't know. Isn't there two sides to everything? Doesn't it take two to accomplish one goal? Thinking out of the box, a lot more can be done. In other words, life can be lived a lot simpler, and perhaps can be a lot more enjoyable, if some of us knew how to logically handle situations thrown at us.

End note: Don't be so quick to judge. That was never how Jesus loved. If you do, let it be good.

By the way, I find myself shrugging off a lot of things these days just to have fun. Wrong? yes? no? Some things are just better left unsaid.

Candy drops & sour drops

2005-05-23T19:14:00.000-05:00

How hard is it for somebody to just listen? I mean actually listen to the words I am speaking. As always I am either ignored or it goes through one ear and comes out the other. I literally have to scream and yell at the top of my lungs to get my point across in this house. It's sooo damn fustrating. Even telling them that I am literally losing my sanity just TRYING to talk to them and that sometimes I just wanna cry myself to sleep, they still don't care. And if, IF, I'm lucky enough that they hear what I am saying, they twist my stories all around. Maybe, they can't control it. That's just the way they are. But I'm sorry, then I can't converse with you. It takes two, to have a decent conversation. I sometimes find it better to talk to a frickin wall.

On a lighter note, Dan came home this weekend. He surprised me on Friday night; eventhough things didn't turn out the way we wanted to, I was still soooooo happy to see him back. (*whispers* D, I do like surprises) We went to Center Island yesterday and everything about was just perfect. We barely did anything; just being with him again was soo great. I loved dressing up in his clothes. hehe (I still like to believe I look better in your sweater...and no I do NOT want to zip it all the way up! ;) haha kidding) And yeah, kicking that stupid pigeon was fun too. lol
You've made almost everything a lot easier for me. I truly love being with you. I can't wait to see you again =)

Other than that, seems like today is back to normal. psssh. Back to reality. It's alright though. I got some ish here and there, but that's not gonna stop me from rackin in the sales/helping out my patients and just making more good times for me and for those around me. Life's too short to be holdin up a sulk. "If you live for me, I'll live for you, believe in me, we can get through this thing, called life"

By the way, I got a haircut!!! ahhhh. Kinda forgot how I look with this short hair. But then again, I never had bangs before :\

Gibberish part II

2005-05-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

I was wandering around my house and I felt like blogging some gibberish for those of you who have any slight interest in my life.
First thing first, I woke up today at like 6:17 am. Why? My dad. I thought something was wrong. But apparently not. He just wanted to ask me why I have a rosary hanging on my door. meh. So, being the smart girl I am, went back to bed ;) (NOT) kidding. Dad came in again at 8:11am and just wanted to give me a hug. How cute! psssh. kidding.
Anyway, my day actually started when I woke up to my sister's phone call. I told her about my second job interview and the possibilities. Looks like I won't be going for it. All because when I finished weighing the pros against the cons; the cons exceeded the pros. Simple as that.
So, I'm excited for tomorrow. I won't be working my morning shift (it got cancelled) so looks like church first thing in the morning then off to my sister's place for a whole day of tennis!! yessssss. It's time to kick some ass. Some asian ass. hahaha.
As my boring day passed along I went shopping to Scarborough Town for my mommy's present. I was passing by soo many people with flowers!! Pretty, pretty, pretty flowers! Steph and I agreed that "if you buy me one, i'll buy you one". Obviously I said....NO! hahah. I will not participate in such foolishness. kidding.
Anyway, so now that Dan called I must attend to other important needs. haha.

Happy 19th Lourdes!

2005-05-01T11:39:00.000-05:00

Hope that you have many blessings coming your way this year.

To Dan:

2005-04-30T23:02:00.000-05:00

May you have...

Enough health to make work a pleasure
Enough wealth to support your needs
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them
Enough grace to confess your sins and forsake them
Enough patience to toil until some good is accomplished
Enough charity to see some good in your neighbor
Enough love to inspire you
Enough faith to make real the things of God
Enough hope to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.

Good luck with everything at Ottawa D, all the best!!!
I'm gonna miss you sooooo much.
But don't worry I'll see ya soon! ;)

xoxo

Saturday morning

2005-04-30T13:20:00.000-05:00

j e n says:
:O GUESS WHAT!!!!!!
j e n says:
my brother just came into my room and he showed me something!!!
dan says:
you pooed?
j e n says:
HE GOT A TATOO!!!!!!!!!
dan says:
:O
dan says:
lol
dan says:
wow
dan says:
where/what?
j e n says:
he's like "DON'T TELL MAMA AND PAPA"
j e n says:
WOW
j e n says:
on his right back shoulder
j e n says:
its a chinese letter charater..."respec"
j e n says:
*respect
dan says:
ahhh
dan says:
that's ...cool...i guess
dan says:
lol
j e n says:
DAMN HIM!
j e n says:
I WANT ONE NOW!
dan says:
lol so go get one you hooligan
j e n says:
hooligan!?!
j e n says:
hhahaaha
j e n says:
is that what ur gonna callme all the time if i get one
dan says:
hahaha
dan says:
yeah, you'll be my little hooligan
dan says:
lol
j e n says:
LOL LOL LOL

[now Dan showing me the grand opening at a new Apple store]

dan says:
http://homepage.mac.com/deggy/PhotoAlbum10.html
dan says:
LOOK AT HOW LONG THE LINE WAS!!!
j e n says:
WHOA!
j e n says:
damn
j e n says:
i never knew it would be that big!!!
dan says:
that wasnt yorkdale tho
j e n says:
BIG COMPUERT NERDS!!!
dan says:
it was a random store
dan says:
:O
dan says:
YOU'RE DATING ONE OF THOSE!!!
j e n says:
was this yesterday?
dan says:
MUAHAHAHAHA
j e n says:
ahhahahahah
dan says:
yeah
j e n says:
we should have went
j e n says:
if u wanted to go
dan says:
lol AND MISS DAN AND JENS DAY OF FUN?!
dan says:
NO WAYYY!!! lol
j e n says:
LOL
j e n says:
correction: "JEN and DAN's DAY OF FUN!"
dan says:
WHAT!
dan says:
jen!
dan says:
dan is hungry. dan is going to eat. bye!
j e n says:
see ya! don't get bitchy to ur family
dan says:
:O
dan says:
:@

I have such a cute boyfriend. If you guys don't think so. Well I do. =P

waiting and waiting and stressed and more stressed.

2005-04-28T00:19:00.000-05:00

*sigh* Today was sooooo GOOD, up until I got home! Got to go downtown with Dan, dropped off my applications and just shop around. But now I'm just feeling...unproductive? unaccomplished?
The fact that school is over, you'd think that I'd be somewhat less stress, but NOPE! I hate all these hospital applications and waiting for job call-backs. *sigh* I'm realizing that applying to become a volunteer at a hospital is harder and more demanding than applying for a frickin job. geez man. I'm really hoping that I get some call backs. *sigh*

And oh yeah (I guess I might have brought this on myself) but today at dinner, my brother was feeling sick, so I tried being a smart-alic (however you spell it) and asking him what his symptoms were and how he was feeling...yadee yadee yadee...then he leaves the dinner table and mumbles something 'shut up...you're not a doctor'...I don't know why, but that really bothered me. yeah. But you know what? I'll show him. piece of crap (not him). That just gives me more motivation to attain my M.D. that's right. I'll show him who's boss.

*sigh* Tomorrow's a new day. Hope something good is waiting for me =)

Numb.

2005-04-24T14:19:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
And every second I waste is more than I can take

But I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

Yes, I know this is such a cliche song to be putting up on my blog, but honestly this is exactly how I feel at the moment. I hate this. Now I remember why I left this old life to go to Waterloo. Lecture after lecture after lecture. My tolerance for this place is utterly gone. You're leaving me at a point where I can't move and I truthfully don't know what to do. I haven't been this angry for several months and the 4th day that I return, I am forced to face this wrath. My space is always getting interrupted, people are asking too much out of me and my patience is wearing thin. I'm sick and tired of all the put-downs and as much as I know you want the best for me, it's my life, I'm gonna live it the way I want.

Judge what you may, but at this moment, I don't give a f*ck.

Wiring down.

2005-04-23T11:39:00.000-05:00

Wow. Ever since I've been home it's been non-stop shopping and chillin. I feel bad that I haven't even really seen my family. Today, I'll stay home and actually get some unpacking done and finally fix up the Internet to my computer. Busy, busy, busy! I'm home alone right now...I think. :\ I'm dying to go to the beach, but some ppl are being so difficult and the weather doesn't look like it wants to co-operate =( It's okay, we'll figure something out, hopefully. Anyway, not much to say. How is everyone else doing?! haha.

SUMMER!!! congrats to all!

2005-04-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

Well here it is. The moment I've been waiting for, summer break! It's official. I'm a 1st year graduate. Sure went by fast; nonetheless, all those nights cramming, days bumming around, and early morning Tim Horton stops, will never be forgotten. It was so hard saying goodbye to everyone. Half of you is dying to go home, but the other half feels that you're leaving your family behind. That's right. Family. I never imagined forming such close relationships with so many people, especially within the span of 8 months. It was one heck of a ride (hehe particularly the balloon frenzies/water fights/hallway games/numerous swiss chalet orders/night walks/nick names/etc.) Whether you supported me or pissed me off, my 1st year at UW/e5 was amazing.

Whatever the case. It's done and done. Sink or swim, we survived.

Procrastinating = Quiz time!

2005-04-13T19:46:00.000-05:00

1. Full Name: jennifer ku (that's right, no middle name)
2. Your nick name: jen (simple as that...no jenny/jen jen/jennibean or whatever =P
3. Birthday: August 26th, 1986
Place of Birth: CAN AH DAH! LOL
5. Zodiac Sign: Virgo
6. Male or Female: female
7. year of the(Chinese calendar): Tiger
8. Schools: St. Bede, Mother Teresa, Waterloo (aww yea yea!!) lol
9. Occupation: Full-time student
10. Residence: as of now - V1-E5 - REPRESENT!!! lol.....hometown - Scarborough
11.Screen Name(s): j e n
12. Hair Color: black
13. Hair Long or Short: medium
14. Type of Hair : straight
15. Piercing/s: none
16. Eye Color : dark brown
17. Height: 5'5 ish?
18. Ethnicity: chinese
19. Braces: Nope! thank God they're off! (train tracks!!! lol)
20. Glasses: Yuppers.
21. Abnormalities: none that I can think of at the moment......hopefully none.
22. Tattoos: nope
23. Righty or Lefty: Right-handed

___Your 'Firsts'___
25. First B.F/ G.F: brandon = Uggghhh....psssshhh.....I prefer my bf NOW!
26. First best friend: Ev!!! (always was and always will be :D)
27. First Award: French?! hahahah or if we go waaaay back in time..I got the Teacher's Helper Hand Award in Kindergarten!! hehe
28. First Sport You Joined: Badminton
29. First pet: Animals?! ahhhhh
30. First Vacation: Cali!!!!
31. First Concert: (8) Educated/With money/she's well-dressed/not funny....(8) hahah that's right. GOOD CHARLOTTE/NEW FOUND GLORY& some other band.
32. First Love: not quite yet. too young for that.

___Favorites___
33. Movies: there's too many!!! buttttt: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Gladiator, Patch Adams, Finding Nemo, A Walk to Remember, ALL THE DISNEY MOVIES!!! LOL
34. TV Show: Friends & ER..that's basically what I ever watched or got into. Nowadays, it's all about the News.
35. Color/s: Black (hehe compliments the azns!!)
36. Band: The Used never let me down.
37. Song: This question is impossible to answer.
38. Food: Rice!
39. Drink: Apple Juice.
40. Candy: Glossettes...the raisin ones!! haha
41.Sport To Play: tennis, badminton, beach volleyball
42. Sport To Watch: wrestling! LOL J/K!!! Tennis.
43. Brand Of Clothing: Don't have one.
44. Store: Too many.
45. Radio program: 97.3/98.1/98.5
46. Animal: bunny
47. Book: Catcher in the Rye (but then again I'm not a real book-reader kinda person)
48. Magazine: don't read them anymore.

___Currently___
49. Eating: nothing
50.Drinking: Nothing
51. Typing: what would u call this?!?
52. Online: yes
53. Listening: The Killers - Mr. Brightside! hahah
54. Thinking About: I have an exam tomorrow yet I'm finding time to do this!
55. Wanting To: CHILL with my friends!!!!!!!!!!! summer fun!!!!
56. Watching: nothing
57. Wearing: pjs

___Your Future___
58. Want Kids: yuppers
59. Want to Get Married: yuppers

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

67. Cute or Sexy: Cute
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: hugs
70. Short or Tall: taller than me
71.Easygoing or serious: best of both worlds
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic
73. Fatty or Skinny: It's all about the skinny guys! hahah
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship.
76. Sweet or Caring: both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hesitant one

___Have You Ever___
78. Kissed a Stranger: hmmmmmmm ..haha kidding...NO!
79. Drank Alcohol: no
80. Smoked: No
81. Ran Away From Home: No
82. Broken a Bone: No
83. Got an X-ray: yuppers (my stupid abnormal teeth. hey! there we go. found one. i have abnormal teeth!)
84. Broken Someone's Heart: don't think so
85. Broke Up With Someone: no
86. Turned Someone Down: yesss
87. Cried When Someone Died: yes.
88. Cried At School: yes.

___Do You Believe In___
89. God: of course
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First Sight: uhhhhhhhh not really?!
92. Ghosts: I can be paranoid
93. Aliens: okay... no.
95. Heaven: of course
96. Hell: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: Depends

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You KnowYou Can't Have: nope. b/c i already got MY D! =)

I just realized that the numbering was messed up. who created this quiz!?!

From the depths of it all.

2005-04-09T11:17:00.000-05:00

You can never control anything or understand people. Everyone has a mind of their own and they do whatever they please. The words that come out of their mouths may not mean anything, but the fact that it was said and done, means something. By now, I figured at this age people have better things to talk about and make better use of their time. Oh wells. What have I always been taught? To turn the other cheek. And just deal.

I was getting so upset the past few days because finding out that sooo many people are leaving me this summer! It's sad enough that I live the furthest away from my family and friends, but just when everything was gonna be heads up, as soon as I get back to scarbs, no one will be there. arggg. No worries. I will find you guys and hunt you down - in China/Ottawa/Australia/Florida/or the backyard of my house (haha ev!!!) I will see to it that you guys can't escape me. muhaha. I'm just kidding. I do hope ALL of you have a good time at your respective places though. *sneers*

Ironically, knowing that Finals are among us, I am finding more and more time to procrastinate and instead, chill. It's just so hard to study in such great weather like this. hehe. Who wants to go skipping again!? muhaha. This time there will be no water involved, please. =P

Well, other than that, besides the little nitty gritty things, life is good.

I ain't gonna let anyone pull me down/cuz this is the time/this is the life/make the best of what you've got.

Worst luck ever.

2005-04-05T21:52:00.000-05:00

DAMMIT! why, why WHY?!?!?!

gibberish.

2005-04-03T13:42:00.000-05:00

It's been 6 months and I'm still hooked on this blog thingy.
The weather outside is messed up.
I miss my friends soo much.
I wanna hear my grandma laugh.
I wanna see my family.

17 more days.
2.5 more days of classes.
Less than a month with him.

Relieved.

2005-03-30T15:46:00.000-06:00

AHHHH hahahahhah. FINALLY!
There's nothing wrong with me!!! whooo!

(If you are remotely interested to know what I am talking about...you can talk to me personally...AHHHAHAHA)

Lash Out!!!

2005-03-29T20:04:00.000-06:00

With such good weather like this - you gotta have a water fight! That's right. Water balloons, buckets, squirt bottles - anything that can hold water (too bad none of us had water guns) =(
It all started with Crystal's lab gloves. We filled them up with water and had the intention of throwing them at the stupid geese.Instead, we found even better targets. hehe. So my window shield got pulled out and out came the water balloons. hahah. Let's see who was down there: Val/Jeremy/Kevin/Louis/Sam/Chris and Big C. Butttt too bad we all throw like girls. One of them (either Jeremy or Chris..I dunno...) was smart enough to catch a balloon and whip it back up through my window! (Remind you that I live on the friggen 3rd floor). Well guess what? My entire bed was soaked, ceiling was dripping water, books wet and my poster fell off! I can't deny that, that was a good throw. hahah. Especially if it caused that much mess. That lasted for about another 30 mins.
Then an innocent dinner turned into a friggen manhunt. Not only were Leandra, Crystal and I chased around E5, but also the entire V1 complex! haha. It was fun. Chris was ready to dunk any 3 of us with his kettle. And he did. Victim #1: Crystal. hahahah poor u! We recruited back in the lounge when we got victim #2: Chris. By who? Leandra! hahahah. she snuck in through the window and poored her milk container of water down his entire back! hahahaah. wickedddd. oh man I loved it. (I still can't believe you held onto that stupid milk container while we were being chased around V1 and still had THAT much water in it still!)
I still have 6 water balloons waiting in my room....hmmmm

summer is in the air...i can smell it....hahahah

Sunshine & Lollipops

2005-03-29T10:29:00.000-06:00

what's up with the wicked weather?! who knew I could go outside with shorts and T-shirt and not freeze my ass off! lol
thank you thank you thank you!

S.O.S

2005-03-27T21:38:00.000-06:00

ahhhhhhh. I'm so out of it. I don't feel like doing ANY work! I am sooo not in the mood. argggg. I hate this. Someone motivate me. Help!

...

2005-03-25T15:03:00.000-06:00

You never know what could be going on in other people's lives.

I wish I could do something for you.
Just remember that he's blessed to be able to share today with Jesus.

Hope you and your family have a Happy Easter =)

Luv u sis

Building a mystery

2005-03-22T15:24:00.000-06:00

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious; the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.
- Albert Einstein

ahhhh

2005-03-21T10:07:00.000-06:00

Exactly 1 month from today, I'll be outta here!!! nooooo

It's my Daddio's birthday today! How old is he? old enough that I lost track. haha kidding. OLD!!!

weird.

2005-03-20T01:45:00.000-06:00

It's 1:38 am. I have the lights shut off. I have Joy Williams "hungry" playing and I feel very....alone? but good. what is it?
I turn my head and I see a picture. What is it about you? I'm smiling right now just at the thought of you. I wanna talk to you. I wanna see you. Everyday starts and I'm excited, because I wonder about the new great things we will venture off to. The jokes, the talks, the simplicity of just being near you. What's come over me tonight? *sigh* I have the greatest guy. And I'm so grateful.

Goodnight. See you in my dreams.

Random Thoughts.

2005-03-19T18:20:00.000-06:00

1. There are certain people I can't stand. I only have so much tolerance for.
2. Essays are soo annoying.
3. The first day of Spring is tomorrow.
4. What happened to Simmy?! where are you?!
5. We only have 4 days of classes this week. aww yea yea! haha
6. Why were you so cute this week!?
7. I'm living here for only 33 more days. =(
8. I'm gonna miss everyone.
9. I want summer so bad.

Charity Ball

2005-03-14T10:07:00.000-06:00

This weekend was great! Good times. hehe
I wish I knew how to put up pics to show ya guys how good it was. oh wells. I just wish it didn't end so fast. =(
Other than that, there were some unforgettable moments from the rocking out to the sweet 'lil simple "gestures" hehe.

T-G-I-F

2005-03-11T14:18:00.000-06:00

IT'S FRIDAAAAAAY!!! This weekend is gonna be so awesome. Friday is major chillaxin and then Saturday we're hittin the mall and then it's the BALL!! I shouldn't be so excited just in case my hopes are let down. Oh wells, how could it be?! I'm gonna be with Dan the whole time?!? hehe. Can't wait!!! =)

Every little thing

2005-03-10T00:15:00.000-06:00

Let me in, to see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come
I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
Will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
All the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
All the time
Some times

Lift me up just lift me up don't make a sound
And let me hold you up before you hit the ground
See all come
You say your all right
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away- you've gone away

And will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
All the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
All the time
Some times

Don't give me up don't give me up tonight
Or soon nothing will be right at all
Salvation
Will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
All the time.

Disney BONANZA!!!

2005-03-03T21:06:00.000-06:00

ahhhhh. HAKUNA MATATA!!! "when I was a young wart-hog!!" hahaha. oh man. who remembers the good ol kid days?? When you're mom or dad would sit you down in front of the TV and you'd watch Jasmine escape out of the palace or how Jafar was such a b*tch when he started stuffing crackers down the salton's mouth! or how about when Belle and the Beast had a snowball fight and that was when they first realized they were in love!!! awwww! or those three dumbass hyenas from Lion King? What were their names again? Shenzi? Ed? and ?!? I don't remember. I just wanna go back to being a kid again!!!! I remember watching Beauty and the Beast all the time and wanting to take the Salton and roll him down a hill because he was sooo rolly polly and ROUND. hahahah....la la la "can you paint with all the colours of the windddd" ok I need to stop listening to Disney music. I think it's making jen go a lil ku-ku!

Second Guessing

2005-03-03T12:24:00.001-06:00

This sickness of mine isn't going away. Maybe I should take D's advice and get more rest. no. NEVER! Remember I'm a soldier and a survivor! muhaha.

Anyway, too often enough when you're alone for a sufficient amount of time, you will think about things. Things about what just happened or what you've heard. Well, I'm getting this inkling feeling that something isn't right. That perhaps, something is running through your mind and it's got you tied up. The truth isn't coming out. And it's getting me worried. Tell me that I'm just being paranoid, otherwise, I'm not so sure what to think or say.

Edwin McCain - I'll Be
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
And Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead

And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I dropped out, I burned up, I fought my way back from the dead
I’m tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
The greatest fan of your life

Happy 19th Birthday Dan!!!

2005-02-24T12:57:00.000-06:00

*hugs and kisses* X100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
and more....hehe

Hope all your dreams and wishes come true!

The fun starts now

2005-02-19T14:25:00.000-06:00

It's begun. My reading week. yay! I don't know if I should jump for joy that I have an entire week off (unlike some people...reading DAYS!! muhaha) or dread the fact that I have major labs/assignments/essays and studying for midterms to do! argggg. whatever. I'M HOME!!! hehe. Feels good. Best part about it? I know how my family is doing. I get to have the peace of mind of whether everything is truly okay or not.

Other than that, this past week has been sooo.....CHILL! Thx Ev for visiting and staying for the week! I really did enjoy your company (in more ways than one) just kidding. I just hope you had fun and got a chance to chillax a bit.

You can never plan or anticipate anything. Especially if you're with him. Things just happen, for the better. He makes you feel as if nothing can ever go wrong and he respects who you are. There are times when he'll stare at you for a bit and you wonder what's running through his mind. But you have a sense that it can't be anything bad because of his cute adorable face. And then when he winks at you and gives you that simple smile, it hits you all over again, why you love spending so much time with him. You won't feel uncomfortable when something embarassing happens to you because he'll just make fun of you and you'll laugh it out together. If anything ever goes wrong or you got something to talk about, he won't be a jerk or ass about it, because he knows when to be serious. It's not the things you say or the things you do, but how you portray things to me. A true gentleman at heart.
And this is why I choose to be with you.

Happy Be-lated Valentine's Day, D!

2005-02-15T11:01:00.000-06:00

Thx for a wonderful night =)

We'll see who can last longer...hehe

Top songs to sing w/Ev! haha

2005-02-11T15:50:00.000-06:00

#1: "I'm the sinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngle onnnnnnnne uhg!"
#2: "Daddy daddy no..I don't wanna go to school!!!"
#3: "S cluuuuuuuuub....gonna show YOU how!!!"
#4: "Get down! get down! and move it all around!"
#5: "Everybody now...yeaaaa...rock your body yea yeaaaa...Backstreet's back...OH NO!"
#6: "She DUN'T got a lot to say..."

LOL. man oh man. this week is gonna be exciting. =)

ps. no more teaching me bad phrases in chinese! "nay ho CHOW!!" hahahaah. (look what you're doing to me! psssh. my sassy girl PART II is on..AGAIN! Guess who's gonna be first in line and front row seats! jokes. If I recall, there were some VERY disturbing scenes in part I.) haha. never again will you put me through that torture.

.

2005-02-10T23:40:00.000-06:00

It sucks being sensitive.

It's just one of those days

2005-02-07T23:17:00.000-06:00

What do you do when you feel like you've hit rock bottom? How are you suppose to feel when you got like thousands of questions hitting you all at once? Who are you suppose to turn to when the one you normally confide in is the problem? When did this gray shadow cast over?

Then suddenly the simplest words can change everything. I ask myself, why?

Down with the blues

2005-02-07T00:30:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling really down right now. I don't wanna see anyone or talk to anyone. In fact, I don't wanna be here right now. I want to be home. This emo music is making me even more depressed. Note to self: Don't listen to Dashboard when you're on the verge of crying.

Takeoffs & Landings

2005-02-04T14:19:00.000-06:00

Well the end of the week has finally arrived! Yay! I'm soo psyched! Heading out with my sister on Saturday to go on a shopping spree cause I got mad things to get & then we're hittin the SPA! ahhh. I'm loving the weather outside, it's surprising that UW is getting this much sunshine, cause we normally don't. And to think that it gets even better in the next two days. yesss. I'm sitting here listening to The Ataris.*sigh* I love songs that remind you of the 'ol summer days. Anyway, it's time to pack my ass off and get outta here!

On this coldest of January nights
We'll drive out past the runway, and watch the planes go flying by
The runway lights are the deepest blue, like the colors of your eyes
So, close them tight and kiss me one last time

If you could go anywhere right now,Where would you go?
And would you miss me when you get there?
There's no place that I would rather be
Please don't let me go falling from the sky

This "fasten seatbelt" sign just needs to go out
If only you could be, right here by my side
Home wouldn't seem so far from here

There exists certain days when the sunlight chooses to dance; to weave and frolic with tongues of fire between the blades of grass. Only on the occasional odd-end days the yellow light emitted from the sun is comsuming. With each step I take, closer to my destination, the sun diffuses softly through the blue curtains of the sky with a sheer illuminating light. It strikes me then that a day comprised of repetitive information, dull lectures and the same old classmates; leaves me jaded and thus calls for a time of reflection and relaxation.
There lies a place far, far-away in time and space, tucked safely away from all of the mundane facts and figures of our everyday lives; it is a place where rest, comfort and peace awaits...

yawn

2005-02-01T10:54:00.000-06:00

puff. just came back from my psych exam. went pretty well. 2 down and 1 more to go. last night was horrible. i remember back in highschool when i use to get sick every saturday because i'd study or work too hard, well i think it's happening to me all over again here. i was studying last night, and it was soo fustrating because none of the information was processing and i was slowly getting sick =( sniffling and sneezing. booo.
i'm sitting here...surviving off 4 hours of sleep. i had intended to go to bed early, but i layed there till like 2:30. why? because of friggen loud girls and a neighbour who loves to watch chinese movies with like 3 guys. my health is in no good condition at the moment. my brain is still not functioning. i feel like taking a nap but i can't afford to lose any time. the fun doesn't stop now. got a stinkin in-class essay tonight in english and my physiology exam tomorrow. ahhh can't wait till this week is OVER!

summer...where are you???!?!

2005-01-29T21:26:00.000-06:00

ahhhh today was soo warm. it felt soo nice! i didn't even have to wear my winter jacket! i probably looked like a retard. but it felt soooo good! the warm breeze! i can feel it..summer is just around the corner! ahHA. Tennis matches are already on!! whoo Austrialian Open. OoOOh andy roddick. hehe. Hopefully this year me and my sis can catch a game again at the Tennis Masters Series. anyway, talked to ev last night. she's coming up for her reading week! it's gonna be hype! i've never been so excited. you better not give-up my hopes up, ev! it took us soo long to plan this because of our conflicting schedules...now it's just perfect! i can't wait.
well, i basically studied all day...stinkin physiology! I realize my brain starts to mal-function once 7 o'clock hits. haha. now i'm just procrastinating. yup. omg. i had curry today for dinner...yea yea "curry in a hurry, YO!" hahah. argg...stupid take-out spilled ALL over my bag!! then all over my notes and texts and my agenda! now everything of mine, including my bag, smells like friggen curry! and we all know how much THAT stinks! Note to self: curry is dangerous!

All by myself...hahah

2005-01-28T18:30:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here at my computer and it's Friday night. To be honest, I feel pretty out of it. Everyone left me. I'm already missing my D, Nic and Leandra. I feel as if I don't have anyone to chill with or talk to. arggg. I know I should be studying for my 3 mid-terms, but I can't study in a state like this. ahhhh. somebody savvve me! =(
Anyway, I haven't blogged in quite a bit. Perhaps because I've been enjoying life so much! (if you know what I mean) My life has definately turned a 180 since this term began. A lot has changed. Both for the good and bad. I don't wanna get too detailed but it just seems as if every aspect of my life has created something new for me to experience. Every night I feel like I'm on a friggen roller coaster. Experiencing the ultimate highs and lows (minus the throwing up) of different people, places and situations. I still remember being at home during the Christmas holidays and wondering how the new year would be like. I never saw any of this coming. Like, holy crap, January is almost over. February is coming soon and before I know it, it'll be time for Finals. I got a lot of random thoughts in my head right now. I just started to think about how cool it's gonna be next year living with my girlfriends...in our OWN house! It's gonna be so awesome. I'm already thinking about what colour to paint my room, how I should arrange my furniture, where to put all my posters and I can't forget the most important thing: RULES! Yes. A house has to have rules! In terms of who is gonna do dishes/vaccuum/clean on various nights. I can tell you now. There is no way in hell I'm doing the bathrooms. pooweeeehh. Anyway, I don't wanna think so far ahead now. On a happier note...SUMMER! heheh. Geez. I've been wishing for summer since God knows when. I want all this damn snow to melt away, so I can start slippin into some flip flops/tanks/shorts/skirts/blah blah...summer wear! With summer comes Wonderland/vacations/shopping sprees/long-driving and major CHILLAXIN! It's weird how I was wishing for snow/Christmas so bad before, now I just want it to all go away!! I've come to the conclusion that I hate snow. It no longer brings me joy. Plus it reminds me of things that I don't wanna remember. Anyway, I'm sorry about the complaining...you can't blame me =P It's human nature that when things are going so well in life...you just want more and more of it! pshh."I swear I'm not selfish!" Some people just have an unsatisfied hunger for wonderment and an itch to experience the magical. hehe. Well, whoever had the time to read all this crap of randomness I salute you. It just gave me something to do to pass the time. =)

Without the bad times, there would be no good times.

2005-01-20T13:00:00.000-06:00

The sun is shining. The wind is blowing. There's a blanket of snow. Kids rush to class. And *I* can't stop smiling. Walking back from class today I was so happy. Everything just seems to be right. Everything is going well. Even though it was so cold and I couldn’t feel me face at one point, I didn’t care, because I felt like I was on cloud nine. I’m blessed. It’s true, smiling makes your day THAT much better. I was about to take a nap, but I don’t wanna fall asleep, because I’m content with where I am. =)

Feeling better.

2005-01-19T16:21:00.000-06:00

It's the little things that matter. And that's what I'm grateful for.

...

2005-01-19T01:33:00.000-06:00

I was about to post something then I had a change of heart. I don't know.

7 5 1 17 14 & 4 3 3 7

2005-01-16T11:41:00.000-06:00

What the conscious mind can't recognize, the heart may know.

Twisted

2005-01-16T00:05:00.000-06:00

Sometimes my mind just doesn't make any sense. I don't know what to think anymore. I've got everything I want in this world yet there's still a part of me that thinks I'm wanting something else. Worse part is. I don't even know what. I had such a great time today with my D, his friend Stan and my best buddy Ev, yet I'm sitting here and wondering why I feel so empty inside. It's not anyone's fault. It's probably just me being paranoid and stupid. Maybe it's just the aroma of this house. I wish I knew. *sigh*

Thx D for the movie, drive home and just everything =P, Ev for sharing in the craptacularness of the movie =) and Stan for your company. goodnight...

ahhhh

2005-01-12T00:16:00.000-06:00

house hunting is not fun anymore!!!! Gives Jen a friggen headache and makes her cry! craptacular crap! Just give me a damn box...at least that won't involve any fustration or temper tantrums!

411 on 637

2005-01-09T20:23:00.000-06:00

Sometimes the best answer to a question, is no answer at all.

"Why do you jen?"
- "I dont know, I just do." =)

I could not ask for more

2005-01-08T13:55:00.000-06:00

It just seems like this song depicts everything I'm feeling inside...

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

=)

2005-01-07T00:24:00.000-06:00

Blue

2005-01-06T15:52:00.000-06:00

Today sucks. I feel under the weather and I've just been down the entire day. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep or maybe it was because of what happened last night. If 'you're' reading this. I think you know I'm talking about you. It's not your fault. You were speaking the truth and I guess I brought it on myself, right? I should have realized earlier, but I don't know why I didn't stop. Things just don't seem right, right now. *sigh* I'll say it again...today sucks. Maybe my New Year's resolution should be to shut-up sometimes.

Too much to handle

2005-01-06T00:49:00.000-06:00

Ever since I arrived back to UW, I've had doubts. Doubts about things that I thought I was so certain about before. This isn't going anywhere. And yes. I was tested. Tested to see where I was at. And I guess I failed. I can't help it. I'm sorry. Can you blame me for being shady?

So many questions!?!

2005-01-02T23:24:00.000-06:00

Do you? or do you not? *sigh*

Goodbye 2004

2004-12-31T18:06:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here, trying to make plans for tonight. The big New Year's Eve bash. But somehow and someway I'm not getting anywhere with this. It gets me thinking about how the year past by so fast. 2004, I must admit, was definately a year full of change for my family. It was the year when I started University, when my sister got married and moved out, my mom got a new job, my dad got promoted and unfortunately when my beloved Apo passed away. Clearly, it has been filled with ups and downs, but we made it. We survived everything with the comfort, support and love from each other. All these changes is what made 2004 such a great year, but scary at the same time. It's shocking to see how much can happen within one year. Yet it's amazing how God planned all this for us and we had no idea. My sister, brother and I have all grown up so much and matured over this past year. I think with all these new changes, it has helped my family to realize how close we really are. Ever since I went to UW, my relationship with my sister has gotten so much deeper. I feel as if I can tell her everything and talk to her openly about anything. She's become like my new best friend. (sorry ev. haha). And strangely enough, I think I've discovered this new found respect for my brother. As much as he may aggravate me and boss me around, his words of wisdom and guidance at times, is much appreciated. (plus he gave me his michelle branch cds..hehe...he's good for something! lol). Aside from that, I've lost contact with a few of my close friends, which is sad, but at the same time this year has brought a lot of new people into my life. It's a growing experience. People come and go, we lose touch and I guess we just have to deal with it. Well in a few hours we'll be heading into the new year. Let's start off fresh with no regrets. I hope that God blesses each and every one of you in 2005. Good Luck. =)

Memories of 2004:

TAN TAN/Will (I have yet to get their numbers for you Ev. haha. and stop throwing your hearts to each other. haha. corniest/best joke ever!)
" BLOOD for BLOOD ! ! ! "
"What do u guys wanna do *todaaay*" (Stupid Billy)
Educated...(you guys know the rest)
The world famous Ev tone: "DooOOoOoONUT...Jennnnn"
Simmy: "I dont like people who are clingy...like frickin Cling wrap!" Jen: "Isn't that the stuff that you wrap your fruits in the fridge with...like ceramic wrap?!" haha.
Sister's wedding: the world famous in-laws...hahah 'the special rock'?
Eating at Town's food court. Keith (a.k.a Tinkie Winkie) = "woooiahh" haha
Two words: Mr. Wilson.
Sis: The goodtimes with Binnie and your carebear
The endless nights of reading Y.A.T.H. You’re not killing my baby, Lourdes! =( I still luv Billy.
The massive amount of $$$ I wasted on friggin DDR. Yet it's still so addictive.
"She Don't got a lot to say"
"I Told you not to get anyone involved". "You STOLE mAH story!"
Motor cycle men. (no comment)
"The BULLEHT train!" "Can I take a picture of you THIIIIS close." (mike was soo cute) "The bbq meat stick!"
Can anyone say that I use to like *Art* hehe
Steph = gollum. haha. samwise. frodo. merry. pippin. sailor - moon/mars/jupiter/venus/mercury. cameron.d/lucy.l/drew.b/. more to come.

Indescribable

2004-12-30T15:15:00.000-06:00

Life, like a dome of many - coloured glass,
Stains the white radiance of Eternity,
Until Death tramples it to fragments.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792-1822:Adonais

I have no words to describe what I witnessed today.

Wake me up when this is all over

2004-12-29T00:52:00.000-06:00

Expect nothing from people and you won't be disappointed. I keep telling myself this, but I can't quite seem to accept it. It's hard for me.

It seems as if as each day passes, everything in my life just keeps getting worse. I'm trying to convince myself that things will get better. It will. I know it will. I just wanna cry myself to sleep and hope that all of this would go away.

Day by day

2004-12-27T23:49:00.000-06:00

I went Boxing Day shopping today. It was soo hectic. geez. I have a huge headache now. There was this one point, when I thought I was gonna pass out. Crazy shoppers. But I can't deny all the good deals there were! ah ha! I only went shoe shopping and bought myself a pair of black boots, buttttt my crazy friends went blitz! my gosh. shoes after shoes after more shoes after clothes after cds after more clothes after...what? lingerie? haha. granny panties! lol. oh man. I did enjoy myself (minus the headache and passing out part). We must have spent like hours at Transit. Our new best friend. By the way, did you ever get to say bye to that chair, Ev? hehe.

Well, time is surely doing its job on my family. We're getting by. Trying to look out for my dad as much as I can and make sure that he always has someone to talk to. It must be really tough with having to face this all alone. The next couple of days are gonna be rough, I'm wishing, hoping and praying that my family and I will be able to stay strong.

By the way this song came on, I couldn't help but cry...

Another year, Another tree
But this year you won't be with me
But it don't, feel much like Christmas
We used to watch the same old shows
Sing Social D on the radio
But it don't, feel much like Christmas
This used to be, my favorite holiday
My Christmas Eve was filled with dreams
But you chased them all away
Why did you leave me for Christmas?
You left me lonely its true,
Could you have waited til New Years?
At least the year would be through...
And now the misletoe's hanging
For no reason at all
And all the presents are still wrapped
But you don't even call
I took a walk to where we go
There were lights and there was snow
But it don't, feel much like Christmas
When people ask me how you've been
I fake a smile and say ok,
But I don't, feel much like Christmas
You used to be, my favorite holiday
But now you're gone, I'm all alone
And all that I can say
Waiting here alone
Christmas by the phone
Said I'm waiting here alone
Spending Christmas by the phone.
- Good Charlotte "Christmas by the phone"

Losing it

2004-12-26T15:46:00.000-06:00

Can't take this anymore. I'm mad. Fustrated. Irritated. Upset. EVERYTHING!

Christmas Day

2004-12-25T17:41:00.000-06:00

May God rest your soul and keep you at peace. You're in a better place now. I'm sorry if I caused you any sorrow, just know that I loved you and always will.
As for everyone else, here I am wishing you a Merry Christmas, with love.

Nelly - Over and over

2004-12-22T14:04:00.000-06:00

I love this song.

'Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad (yeah)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I cant shake it(NO)

I can't wait to see you
Wanna see if you still got that look in your eye
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And its a shame that we gotta spend our time being mad
About the same things
Over and over again (about the same thing)
Over and over again
But I thinks she leavin
Uhh man she's leavin I dont know wat else to do
(Cant go on not lovin you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad (yeah) cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again (yeah) and I can't take it (yeah)and I can't shake it

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playin in my head (Over and over again)
Playin my head (over and over again)
Oh I thinks shes leavin
Uhh man shes leavin
I dont know wat else to do (I cant go on not lovin you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad (yeah) cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it and I cant shake it

Now that I realize That I'm goin down
From all this pain you put me through
Everytime I close my eyes
I lock it down
I can't go on not lovin you

Over and over again
Over and over again
Cause it's all in my head

I'm a Survivor!

2004-12-20T20:46:00.000-06:00

I'M DOONNNNNNNEEE!!! FINALLY!!! It feels sooo good to be home and not have any work to worry about. Can't wait for the shoppping to begin! The malls better be nice to me. Hopefully I can get everyone's gift. Can't wait to see all my friends! ahhhhhh. It's gonna be so great =)

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Issues

2004-12-13T17:01:00.000-06:00

Considering the fact that it is exam time, you'd think that people would be more considerate. No. Unfortunately, I have a frickin neighbour who likes to sing at 5 o'clock in the fricken morning and then finds the need to recieve phone calls an hour later and talk so damn loud. holy crap. I'm losing my patience with her. I'm only done 2 exams and I still have 5 to go. It's pathetic. A person in my building is done and starting christmas holidays already. arggg. Also, some people don't know when to shut the f*** up. Seriously, you'd think they get a hint. But no. I wonder if they ever heard the phrase "no one cares". They just go on and on and on and on about crap that I really don't give two shits about right about now and I have no relevance to. AND, do people really need to talk as loud as they do? geez. Another thing, people don't understand the concept of a closed door! When the door is closed it means = leave me the hell alone. Or, you can knock on it and wait for me to open it (that's if I want to see you). I think people get the impression that just because I talk to you, I like you. Wrong. Think again.

Can't stop

2004-12-09T20:40:00.000-06:00

I've been getting a lot of mixed emotions lately. Don't know exactly where they're coming from, but it's fustrating. However, at the same time, it keeps me smiling. I feel like I'm all over the place. I can't keep still. My mind just can't keep steady and my heart is racing whenever I think about certain things or people. I swear I think I'm crazy sometimes. I would just sit in my room and laugh out of nowhere. pretty retarded eh? I find the stupidest things funny. The worst part of it? Once I start laughing. I can't stop. I laugh at myself for laughing. I don't know whats wrong with me. I think Finals are making me go insane. hehe

...because, in the end, things will always turn out right

2004-12-03T12:46:00.000-06:00

Eventhough I got like 5 hours of sleep last night, I am so hyper. Everything is good right now, except the fact that Finals are coming up and I haven't started studying.
Walking back home today made me realize that there are certain things in life that you shouldn't force. Things will happen when they're meant to happen. Eventhough I didn't take that leap of faith 2 weeks ago to talk to that somebody, things still turned out okay. I just hope it's not all downhill from here. =)
Hoping for a fun yet productive weekend!

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

Home - A whole new definition.

2004-12-01T17:24:00.000-06:00

Home has always been regarded as a place where one can be free, comfortable and most of all happy. It is a native habitat where one chooses to live with others they care for and vice versa. A place where a family dwells and possibly where a social unit is built. Agree? hmm. I say very unlikely. Personally, to me, home has never been any of these things, well for the most part. I like to think of it as an entirely different realm where my anger heightens to a whole new level, my patience is tested to the very end and most likely where I will lose my sanity. Perhaps I need to think about it on a more positive note; that it is a test for survival; if I can live through this, then everything else in life won't be as difficult. Ha. Very unlikely. We'll see how life goes. For now I just hate it because it brings out the worst in me.

Life, is waiting for you.

2004-11-23T04:24:00.000-06:00

Everyone has always complained about their life. Whether it was the little niddy-gritty things that bothered them from day to day or how they just never grasped the significance to their own existence. No one will ever be able to answer the question to your life. Only you can. We live day in and day out, doing things that have become so routined that we lose all sight for the reasons why we are doing these things. We fail to realize that the little things in life, really do matter. We miss out on so much by not giving that extra simle when someone says hi, or saying a simple thank you when someone holds out the door, or saying hello to that quiet person down the hall.
Imagine life as a game, where all of us are trying to juggle five balls in the air. Each one named - work, family, friends, health and spirit. As you get older, juggling and maintaining these balls in the air can get difficult. But you're not alone. Your friends, family and most of all your faith is what you have to keep in mind, and most of all appreciate at times. They are there to help you to keep these different aspects of your life in balance. Making sure that one ball is never forgotten. Sure, the path that lies ahead of us may darken at certain points in our lives, and there may be too many unknowns that scare us, but we must see this as a challenge. A challenge that God has put forth before us. It's only there to make us better people, and most of all help us to become stronger. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Being able to accept our faults and rise again to a new challenge. Life is definately not a play field anymore, nor is it the party that we all hoped for. It's getting tougher and tougher with each new day, but that doesn't mean you give up. You have to keep moving and living. Don't ever let your greatest ambitions fail. It will get better. When things seem to be at its lowest, don't ever let it get you down. When everything around you just doesn't seem to be going your way, suck it up because that's life. When people you talk to and aggravate you, just smile and know that you probably just saved yourself one wrinkle. There will be many moments in your life when fear, sorrow, or tears are going to knock on your door, all you have to do is answer it with your faith.

Nothing but smiles

2004-11-20T03:37:00.000-06:00

Finally! Today was great. Regardless that I had a chem test this morning, I am in such a good mood. I've been smiling all day and it's definately not stopping now. My classes ended early, I got a chance to watch some TV (Saved by the Bell - hahah, its been a long time since that show has been on). Then I went out with Dan. We went shopping (whooo) AND nope. I did not stop there. We saw "The Incrediables", which by the way, in my opinion, was such a great movie. Makes you wanna have superpowers! And there's this awesome kid on training wheels that will just make you laugh! (Right, Dan!) haha.The only part of the night that kinda sucked was that it was raining...booo...running in the rain is no fun...especially when after a while you can't feel your face. but it was all good in the end. By the way, the bus drivers here in UW can't drive!!! ahhh. gave jen a headache! aww poo. Nevertheless, I still don't want the night to end.

Take it Slow

2004-11-17T15:39:00.000-06:00

I find myself thinking about things too much. I don't know if thats a good thing or bad thing. But it just seems like I'm going in circles with this issue. When you ponder about something you can sometimes get ahead of yourself and not realize in the end you're just gonna end up getting hurt. I need to learn to ease my mind and not take things so seriously. Otherwise, life will be over before I know it.

By the way Thuha, I am NOT in love. Just deeply and ludicrously infatuated.

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

2004-11-16T17:33:00.000-06:00

Thief of my heart
Stolen all my thoughts
And secret dreams
Quickly and with
The sweetest stealth
Everything within
Was swept away
Swept clean
To be filled up all over again
By his presence
The thief in the night
Took my heart and ran
And now I can't stop
Falling and falling
An exhilarating descent
Into the deep unknown
And being robbed
Has never felt so good
And I have never been happier
As I am dropped into madness
Straight and suddenly
Into LOVE.

P i e c e . O f . P a r a d i s e

=)

A beautiful mind

! ! ! HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY DAN ! ! !

P E R F E C T weekend!

Songs that I currently can't stop listening to . . .

sickness sucks

Currently on my mind

CLASSIC SOUL ALBUMS are out ! ! !

James Blunt - "You're Beautiful" - - - this song is stuck in my head

Helping the poor little fish. . lol

untitled

Ottawa so far. . .

f r e e d o m

Your hand I'll always need

Ottawa Trip

The first snowfall

Sappy? I know. But how could I resist? This is so sweet!

I GOT A JOB!!!

Midterm on a SATURDAY?!?!

not enough time!!!

Happy 19th Ev ! ! !

- Because you loved me -

=D

Anybody wanna join me?!

(none)

SMILE!

Happy Birthday, Keith!!! =)

You and I ~ Howie Day

Darlington Camp Trip!

Time.

Happy Be-lated Bday Simmy!!!

"whatever"

Life = Ying yang

Candy drops & sour drops

Gibberish part II

Happy 19th Lourdes!

To Dan:

Saturday morning

waiting and waiting and stressed and more stressed.

Numb.

Wiring down.

SUMMER!!! congrats to all!

Procrastinating = Quiz time!

From the depths of it all.

Worst luck ever.

gibberish.

Relieved.

Lash Out!!!

Sunshine & Lollipops

S.O.S

...

Building a mystery

ahhhh

weird.

Random Thoughts.

Charity Ball

T-G-I-F

Every little thing

Disney BONANZA!!!

Second Guessing

Happy 19th Birthday Dan!!!

The fun starts now

Happy Be-lated Valentine's Day, D!

Top songs to sing w/Ev! haha

.

It's just one of those days

Down with the blues

Takeoffs & Landings

*yawn*

summer...where are you???!?!

All by myself...hahah

Without the bad times, there would be no good times.

Feeling better.

...

7 5 1 17 14 & 4 3 3 7

Twisted

ahhhh

411 on 637

I could not ask for more

yawn